Magic Matchbox

Matchbox Joke

The Jewish Samurai

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.

A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.

The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.

The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.

The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"

Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.

The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is that gnat not dead?"

The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ? Take all the matches out first !

Match Box

Early matches

A predecessor of the match, small sticks of pinewood impregnated with sulfur were invented in China in AD 577. Besieged by military forces of Northern Zhou and Chen, Northern Qi court ladies were out of tinder and desperate for a means to start fires for cooking and heating.^[2] During the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms(AD 907–960), a book called the Records of the Unworldly and the Strange written by Chinese author Tao Gu in about 950 stated:

If there occurs an emergency at night it may take some time to make a light to light a lamp. But an ingenious man devised the system of impregnating little sticks of pinewood with sulphur and storing them ready for use. At the slightest touch of fire they burst into flame. One gets a little flame like an ear of corn. This marvellous thing was formerly called a "light-bringing slave", but afterwards when it became an article of commerce its name was changed to 'fire inch-stick'.^[2]

Matches also appeared in Europe by about 1530.^[2] But the first modern, self-igniting match was invented in 1805 by K. Chancel, assistant to Professor Louis Jacques Thénard of Paris. The head of the match consisted of a mixture of potassium chlorate, sulfur,^[3] sugar, and rubber. The match was ignited by dipping its tip in a small asbestos bottle filled with sulfuric acid. This kind of match was quite expensive and its usage was dangerous, so Chancel's matches never gained much popularity.

Wrinkles,Wikipaedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrinkle_(skin)

Wrinkles and Crinkles

They say that behind
every line and wrinkle
there lays a story to be had there.
With all the wrinkles and crinkles
that line my face,
there should be
a couple of novels worth there

Wrinkles

WRINKLES OF MINE

I stand in front of the mirror
And look at my face
Where did these wrinkles come from
I exasperate.

Are they wrinkles of wisdom
Are they wrinkles with age
Are they wrinkles from boredom
or wrinkles from rage.

Are they wrinkles from the sun
Or from having too much fun.
Are they wrinkles from smiling
Or wrinkles from frowning.

Wrinkles do have a story to tell
Sometimes it is of happiness
Sometimes it is of pain
And sometimes it is just vague.

Should we erase them
Or let them be seen
Should we just hide them
Or is that being Vain.

I dab on some creme
And say to myself
A few wrinkles on my face is not such a big thing
Considering all that can go wrong in this world we live in.

So I start the new year with a few wrinkles on my face!